


Adventures in Las Vegas and Sorts

by AppleAndLettuce



Series: Adventures of Batfamily and Sorts [3]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU
Genre: Bat Family, Cereal, Humor, Multi, Vacation, clubs, sassy alfred
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-04-20 14:43:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14263284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AppleAndLettuce/pseuds/AppleAndLettuce
Summary: Snipits of the batfamily on a vacation in Las Vegas-“Nice to meet you Richard.” Dick stated.Soon after, Jason quickly walked to the halfway point of the stairs, and threw a red Frisbee.“What the FUCK Richard?” Jason stated as the Frisbee hit the center table.“Umm why do you have a Frisbee?” Dick moved the camera zoomed into Jason’s face.“Honestly Grayson, if you are still wondering why the imbecile does things or brings what he does, you haven’t been in this family long enough.” Damian stated as he walked into the room, coming from the game room.-“Keith and Garret, they just get all quiet.” Dick states as they continue to eat. “NONE OF YOU ARE WORKING AS A TEAM!”“WHERE IS THE LAMB SAUCE?”“Come on man,” Tim played along.“WHERE IS THE LAMB SAUUUCE?”





	Adventures in Las Vegas and Sorts

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys Apple here! So I randomly thought that this would be a great idea, so I did it. Thank you Lettuce for looking over it, as with out you I would have made this fic even worse. I broke this into four parts for each day, not sure why though.  
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy and sorry for grammar errors!

Let’s gooooo! 

“So this is the first trip with the lovely Luke!” Dick exclaimed as they walked towards the white jet. “Say hi Luke!” He moved the camera to the left, where Luke was walking with him.

“Hello!” He waved at the camera. 

“So we are heading towards Las Vegas forrrrrr four days I believe?” Dick looked behind him at Bruce and Diana. Bruce gave him a subtle nod. 

“Okay, yeah, so four days! Let’s gooooo!” 

He ended the video with him stepping onto the private jet. 

Say hi! 

Everyone was sitting in the center of the jet.

“So people were wondering whomst is coming, so I thought it would be better if you saw.” Dick explained. “Say hi!”

He rotated the camera to see everyone.  
“There’s Damian, Jason, Cassandra, Barbara, Luke, Diana, Bruce, Alfred, Stephanie, aaaand Tim!” 

“Roy will be with us later though.” Jason muttered as he sipped his drink, getting an ice. 

“And Roy.” Dick stated. 

“There are honestly too many of us.” Barbara commented as she stood up. 

The Wayne family has arrived. 

“Jason!” Dick ran towards Jason and Damian, who were walking ahead. 

“What Goldie?” Jason looked back, but continued to walk. 

“Did Bruce let you get a car?” Dick soon caught up. 

Jason gave him a shit eating grin, and lifted his hand, and shook the keys. 

Dick laughed, “What did you get?”

Jason turned back and said, “You’ll see.” 

Lambooo 

Jason unlocked a yellow Aventador S Lamborghini.

“AYYYY!” Dick zoomed into the steering wheel. 

Jason looked back at the camera. “Just like the one at home.”

“Okay you know what….” Dick then zoomed into Jason’s face. “Not all of us date billionaire’s kids you know.”

“Mmmmm.” Jason winked, and closed the door. “BYE FUCKERS!”

Okay thennnnn 

Cassandra was entering a 2018 Ford Shelby GT350R. “Okay I see you!” Dick stated. “Can I join you?”

“Where is Jason?” Stephanie asked as she got into the front.

“He left.”

“Hmmmm.” Barbara pretended to consider. “I mean, Cass is driving, so I guess you can join us in the back with Stephanie.”

“What about B, Diana, Alfie, Tim, Luke, and Damian?”

“Damian left with Jason I think, and then Luke and Tim got their own car. B and the rest got a parent car.” Stephanie explained. 

Oh well 

“We left! I’ll show y'all their car later.” Dick turned the camera. 

“I guess girls night?”

“Not yet.” Stephanie stated as she looked towards Dick. “It’s barley like.. What? One thirty?”

“Mhmm.” Barbara replied. 

“Then girl’s afternoon!” 

“Sure.” Stephanie stated. 

Fast and the Goddamn Furious 

“So we just met up with everyone else, and uhhhh…” Dick cut himself off as Jason and Damian arrived, with the radio blasting. 

“AND I NEED YOU!” Jason yelled along. “DUNUNUNUN, AND I MISS YOU.”

“AND NOW I WONNNNNNDER,” Jason parked. 

“IF I COULD FALL, INTO THE SKY, WOULD YOU THINK TIME, WOULD PASS ME BY?” 

“CUZ YOU KNOW I’D WALK A THOUSAND GODDAMN MILES JUST TO YOUUUUUU, TONIGHT.” Jason then turned off the car, and got out with Damian. 

“...Nice job Jason.”

“Damn right.” Jason stated as he continued to walk. 

Welcome to Las Vegas 

It was a photo of everyone in front of the “Welcome to fabulous Las Vegas” sign. 

MGM Grand 

“And Bruce over topped everything!” Dick stated as Stephanie drove into the VIP Entry in the MGM Grand. 

“Are yall fucking ready?” Stephanie asked as she stepped out of the car and handed the keys to the Valet. 

Dick stepped out of the car, looking around. “Aren’t you gonna stay with Timbo in a different room?"

“Unfortunately, there are too many of us.” Stephanie stated as they grabbed their luggage. 

“Mmmm.” DIck muttered as they entered the hotel. 

You better work 

“HOLY SHIT!” Stephanie exclaimed as they walked into the Skylofts. 

“Jesus.” Dick stated as he looked around. 

“How the hell does Bruce afford this?” Luke asked as the butler came around. “Ayyyyyy!”

“What’s up?” Jason asked as he soon after came into the door followed by Damian. 

“LOOK AT WHERE WE ARE STAYING!” Dick exclaimed as he turned the camera towards Jason. “He really went all out this time.”

“This is one of the best hotels we have been to.” Jason stated as he immediately began to walk upstairs. “Dibs on the king!” 

“Ayy no!” Dick replied as he ran after him. 

“YEET mottherfucker!” Jason yelled back and he half ran up the stairs. 

“Where the fuck is the king bed?” Jason asked as he walked upstairs, straight into the two queen sized beds.

“No no no no no that’s mine.” Dick stated as he went the other way.

“Fuck you.” Jason stated as he ran past the vast amount of closet. 

“NononononononoNO JASON!” Dick ran towards the bed as Jason sprinted and jumped on to the bed. 

We have a butler??? 

“Hello! What is your name?” Dick asked the butler that arrived. 

“Hello. My name is Richard Vargas. I am at your service.” He gave Dick a bright smile. 

“Nice to meet you Richard.” Dick stated.

Soon after, Jason quickly walked to the halfway point of the stairs, and threw a red frisbee. 

“What the FUCK Richard?” Jason stated as the frisbee hit the center table.

“Umm why do you have a frisbee?” Dick moved the camera zoomed into Jason’s face. 

“Honestly Grayson, if you are still wondering why the imbecile does things or brings what he does, you haven’t been in this family long enough.” Damian stated as he walked into the room, coming from the game room.

“Exactly.” Jason stated as he looked back at the butler, and walked upstairs. 

“Ummm???” 

Ily Alfred 

“Who are you?” Alfred asked as the butler came into the skyloft. Alfred, Luke, Dick and Jason were sitting in at the kitchen when Richard Vargas came in. 

“What the FUCK Richard?” Jason asked as he looked back at his phone. 

“Umm.” The butler looked at Jason, then back at Alfred. “I am the Wayne’s butler for the next 24 hours. It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir.” 

Alfred sighed. “With all due respect, I’ve been in this business since before you were conceived. Your services aren’t need here.” Alfred stood up, and gestured towards the door. 

The butler gave him a confused face, but none the less walked towards the door. 

“Good day.” Alfred then locked the door. 

“Dang Alfred, I didn’t know you were the possessive type.” Luke commented as he slowly went back to his seat in the kitchen. 

“Master Luke, I am the only butler with the patience to serve this family. I was merely sparing that poor fellow’s sanity.” He explained. 

Strip 

“So we be at the Las Vegas strip now.” Dick stated as he fixed his hair and gave the camera a bright smile. “And people be staring.”

“Again, no goddamn dur, Bruce Wayne is with us, and then there is like sixty of us all walking to the same areas.” Barbara stated.  
“Sixty nine of us.” Jason stated as he put on his sunglasses. 

Soon after Tim hit him with the red frisbee in the face.

When Alfred is an actual mom 

“Bruce.” 

“.......”

“Bruce.”

“....”

“Brucceeeeeeeee.”

“What Dick?”

“Can I buy a cupcake?” DIck asked as they were walking into the Hershey’s store.

“I’d advise you to not Master Dick, but go ahead and ruin your teeth, we need an example of diabetes.” Alfred cut in as he held the door open for the family. 

“He only eats cereal anyways, this is nothing new.” Tim stated. 

“Ayayayay, that’s enough for the day.” 

Jason snorted, and walked away from the family. 

Where is the lamb sauce??? 

Luke was holding on to Dick’s phone. The Wayne Family was sitting in Hell’s Kitchen. 

“Keith and Garret, they just get all quiet.” Dick states as they continue to eat. “NONE OF YOU ARE WORKING AS A TEAM!”

“WHERE IS THE LAMB SAUCE?”

“Come on man,” Tim played along. 

“WHERE IS THE LAMB SAUUUCE?” 

“Right here chef I have it.” Stephanie stated as she gestured towards her wine glass. 

“The lamb sauce is coming right up.” 

“THERE IS JUST NOTHING THAT IS COMING TOGETHER.” Dick dramatically stated.

“RIght here chef.” Tim satted as he handed him a fork. 

“Thank you very much.” Dick stated. 

“Not a problem chef.”

“Oh fuck off you fat useless sack of fucking yankey dankey doodle shit,” Jason completed the sentence. He looked back at Damian, “Fuck off will you please?” 

Luke then zoomed into Dick’s devastated face.

“I thought I was Gordon Ramsay.” Dick almost pouted. 

“You wouldn’t say it.” Stephanie explained, “Only Jason would do the rest in a public area.” 

Dick sighed. “True.”

Luke then moved the camera towards Bruce, who had his eyes closed and was massaging his temples. 

Guess who’s back 

“Guess who’s back, back again,” Roy began as he got out of Jason’s car.

“Shady's back, tell a friend,” Jason replied as he locked the car. 

“Guess who’s back, guess who's back, guess who’s back NA NA NA,” Roy ended it as soon as he saw Dick. “Hey Dick.” 

“Hey Roy!” Dick greeted as he went for a hug.

“Where is everyone else?” Jason asked as he pulled out his phone. 

“Diana and Alfred went back to the hotel, Bruce is at Wayne Enterprises, Little D is with Steph and Cass, and Tim is dead. Luke is waiting for us.”

“Alright, then let’s get goinggg.” Jason began to walk away from the two. 

No caption was made 

Luke was recording as DIck drove out of the Vegas Strip. 

“So Roy was telling us to go ziplining in Downtown Las Vegas? So we thought heck it, let’s goooo so now we are driving towards it.” Dick explained to the camera. He then gasped. “Yessss.” 

“Oh god.”

“Fuck me.”

“Grayson no!”

“Wait what?” Luke looked to the back of the car where Roy, Jason, and Damian sat. 

Dick looked back at the camera with a bright smile. Soon after, they passed a sign. Everyone but Luke groaned. 

“Road work ahead? Uhh yeah, I sure hope it does.” Dick stated. Luke sighed, and zoomed into his face.

And this is why Bruce can’t take us anywhere 

They were next to street performers on Fremont Street. The street performers were part of a freakshow.  
Dick was in the center of the photo with him spider walking like the girl from The Exorcist. Fellow watchers had a disgusted expression on their faces. 

Timmy 

Luke was recording the video. “TIMMY WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?” Dick yelled as he ran around Downtown Las Vegas.  
Dick quickly ran past a coffee shop, that Tim soon after exited.

“Brooooo.” Luke stated as he zoomed into Tim’s face, and looked for Dick. 

Fansssssss 

Two short girls were in the middle of Jason and Tim. Next to Tim was a tall male, along with Damian. 

Family photo! 

Diana was beside Bruce, who was next to Barbara, Cassandra, Stephanie, Tim, Dick, Jason, Roy, Luke, and Alfred. 

No capiton was made 

They were back at the hotel. Dick opened the door to the bathroom at the Skyloft. 

“Jaassonnn.” Dick stated as he entered. 

“What?” Jason asked as he looked back at the door. He was fixing his hair. 

“Can you do it?” Dick approached him. 

“What?”

“You know…” Dick started, with a slight nod. 

“Mmm” Jason began. “It’s ya boi, uh, Skinny Penis.” 

Dick began to laugh hysterically, and the video ended. 

BrOoOO 

“WE ARE NOW OUT AND ABOUT!” Dick yelled as he walked out of the MGM. “We are about to go to-”

“Shut the fuck up.” Jason looked at the back seats, where Dick and Luke sat. 

“Jason.” Luke groaned. Dick looked right at the camera, clearly unamused. 

“I’m telling.” Dick looked back at Jason. 

“Go ahead.”

“I’m telling.”

“Okay.” Jason replied as he stopped at a light. 

“Alfred is gonna find out.” Dick stated. Almost immediately, Jason whipped his head back. 

“.....No.”

“Mmmhmm.” Dick replied. 

“No.” 

Dick zoomed into Jason’s grumpy face

@Wally, where tf r u? 

Dick and Roy were sitting across from the bar. 

“Anyways man, I was thinking of making Kori try it out ya know? But Jay-” Roy got cut off by the sound of laughing. It was Jason and a girl at the bar. Jason was full on laughing, and the girl fake laughed. Jason began to calm down when she got closer to him. 

“Oh hell nah,” Roy stood up, and walked towards the bar. 

As soon as he approached, Jason greeted him. Roy smiled at him and looked back at the girl. She tried to shake his hand, but Roy ignored her on to sit on the other side of Jason. Once he sat down he wrapped his arms around him and kissed his cheek, then looked back at the girl. She quickly stood up, and walked away. 

Tea 

Jason and Dick were sitting next to each other, near the dance floor. 

Dick was about to say something when a man approached them. 

“Excuse me,” He began. Dick looked surprised, and switched the camera side. 

“Yes?” Dick asked as he looked at him.

“Why don’t we dance?” He asked. 

“Me?” Dick asked him, “I’m sor-”

“No not you sweetheart,” He looked straight at Jason, who had not looked up from his phone. “I’m talking to you.” He crouched down towards Jason. 

Jason finally looked up from his phone. “Hmm?” Jason looked back at Dick. 

“Why don’t you join me in the dance floor handsome?” The man asked with a bright smile. 

Jason snorted, and stood up. “Disgusting.” He walked away. 

The man stood awkwardly, watching as Jason left the vicinity. He cleared his throat, and walked away. 

Dick then switched the camera. “Teaaaaaa,” He grabbed his drink, took a sip, and looked back at the camera, but choked.

Walgreens at 2:00 am 

“JASON!” Dick yelled as he walked through the walgreens. 

“WHAT?” Jason yelled back. 

“WHERE ARE YOU?” Dick tried to get closer to the sound. 

“We’re in the cereal section.” Roy answered.

“What the fuck?” Luke asked as they continued to walk.

Dick soon found them in the middle of the cereal / breakfast aisle. 

“What are you guys doing? We’re looking for toothbrushes because we didn’t pack them.” Dick approached them. 

Jason grabbed a family box of cinnamon toast crunch. “I’m hungry.”

“Why the family box.”

“Have you lived with us?” Jason asked Dick. “All of the dumbasses are gonna eat my food.”

Dick didn’t say anything for a second.

“Shit, take two.” Luke commented as he grabbed another one. 

“I’ll get the milk.” Roy stated as he walked away. 

Going back to the MGM 

The video has no sound. Jason and Roy were holding to two bags each. Dick switched the camera to Luke, who pressed the button for the Skyloft, the highest level in the MGM. 

Tim 

“So we got home at 2:30 in the morning and umm.” Dick switched the camera towards the stairs. 

“He’s done.” Stephanie stated as she walked past Tim, who was laying in the middle of the stairs. 

“Ummm, Tim? Do you want me to take you to the couch?” Dick asked as he went to the middle of the staircase. “Hello?”

We only have the finest taste in music 

Everyone was dancing to Chopin’s Nocturne Op.9 No.2, which was blasted through the house system. 

“FUCK YESSS FUCK THE CLUB THIS IS THE SHIT!” Dick stated as he began to twerk. 

“He’s drunk as fuck.” Luke commented. 

Breakfast 

Cassandra, Barbara, Jason, Roy, and Luke were eating cereal in the kitchen at 3:00 in the morning.

**Author's Note:**

>  **Kudos and comments are always appreciated!**  
>  As always, thank you so much for reading, have a great day and hopefully I made yours, and peace out!  
> -Apple


End file.
